Five Days

I leave for Orlando in only five days. God help me. There is so much that I need to get done and so much that has to fall into place by then, and I don't feel like I'm getting anything accomplished. I still have to record my demo cd, but every time, for the last four or five times, that I sit down to record, my voice does not want to cooperate. That is super frustrating, because I have to finish this.

I keep having bad dreams about AMTC and this upcoming event. The latest one : I am at a grocery store, like Walmart, and AMTC has a little table set up in between clothes racks where we have to get our picture taken for the pamphlet/playbill thing. I am trying to get to it, but I have to go through the grocery part of the store first. The only problem being that, every time I start to go down an isle, this guy in a killer whale mascot suit starts walking towards me. Now, I know that sounds pretty ridiculous, but in this dream, I am completely convinced that if he catches me, he will kill me, so naturally I am terrified. Eventually I end up at the Bakery part of the store, thinking I have finally lost him, and I look up and he is standing behind the counter. So I run. Somehow I find my way to the little table that AMTC has set up, so I go over to it and jump in to get my picture taken. Well, I am with two other people. The one in the middle is this 10-foot tall woman, and on her left is this 300-pound woman. Well since they are head shots, they couldn't get me and the 10-foot tall lady in one shot, so I was cut out of the picture. They asked me if that was fine with me and I just stood there, and I was like "Uhmm.. I guess? Yeah." Then I woke up.

Even though it was kind of a strange dream, it helped me so see a few things. One being that I have been feeling completely inadequate. I am doing all this work and all this stuff, but I feel totally invisible. That isn't from the Lord though! I am a child of God! He has chosen me for this profession and has put a calling on my life to pursue it. And THAT right there, qualifies me as being COMPLETELY adequate.

God is good, and God will provide.

I'm not worried about that.

Jesus, please draw me into you and help me to get everything accomplished that I need to. Thank you that YOU are in control.