Death is a weird thing. One day you are here and the next minute you aren't. You stop existing in this world. Nobody can touch you or talk to you or see you ever again, at least not on this earth anyway. This world is never going to have another blanket knitted by you. The world is never going to get to steal another one of your smiles. This is it, and that is sad to me. Its sad because of all the things this world is going to miss out on because you aren't here anymore.

I know you don't have much more time, but I know you will be happier once you are in heaven.

I love you.

Things I did today :

Went to Church <3
Worked on my music.
Enjoyed the rain <3

When did we stop dancing around at the store because our favorite song came on? When did we stop singing as loud as we can and not care who heard? When did we start being so concerned with what everyone else thinks of us that we neglect our own self image?

Why am I so concerned with the worlds view of me? Why do I even care what people I don't know think of me?

There is a flaw in our society. We are raised believing that to really grow up you spend your time being concerned with how we come across, with every action and word that we allow to happen. When really, growing up should be that we learn how to love everyone and not care if that love is returned, not care if they see in us what we want them to. That's how it should be. That's what we really need to learn.

I'm quickly learning...

that nothing is going to be quite as easy as I have always thought it would be. I am going to have to work extremely hard at every single thing I do. That is a little bit terrifying to me and a little bit of a relief. It is terrifying because there is so much that I want to do. It is a relief for two reasons : One, I know how to work hard, that's all I have ever known. Two, God is faithful and will provide energy for all the hard work I have to do.

I have just come to the realization that things are not going to be handed to me. They never really have been, but even with school, I have never had to work that hard to get good grades. I am learning, always learning. I will have to put everything I have into everything I do, including school, including music, including acting, including it all.

God wouldn't have called me to do this, if he wasn't going to give me the capability and the love for it. I am certain that I was called to this. I am completely in love with what I'm doing with music and acting, now all I need to do is believe that God has given me the talent to pursue it.

I am thankful that God gives new mercies every day.

He is such a personal God that he has designed mercies for every day that I will live. Everything is covered. Thank you Jesus!

Goose Bumps!

I hate it when you just shave your legs and then you get really cold and get goose bumps! It really upsets me.

I am determined to make today a good day despite all the goose bumps that are bound to find their way to my legs.

Exhausted.

For some reason, I have been so incredibly tired today. Like I might just pass out and sleep for the next 4739287429384729387492873492873 years.

We finished out blocking today! Thank.The.Lord! I die in the play and so I am not in the last scene. I have never been so excited to die in my life! No more blocking! Woot! Thursday will be the first time EVERYONE is together, and I am super excited! It will be a blast. (an exhausting blast of tired fun) :)

People are tiring. We require so much.

Dear Confusing Boy...

Can you please make up your mind about how you feel about me? That would help things a lot, I think.

Sincerely,

Confused Girl!

I wonder if divorce breaks God's heart as much as it does mine...

Listen to The Sparrow and The Crow. It is an album by William Fitzsimmons and it breaks my heart every time.